My work at Covenant Eyes exposes me to a lot of depressing statistics. In the last year or two there’s been a lot of information about the prevalence of “sexting” (electronically sending or posting nude or partially nude photos of yourself).
The most accurate studies tell us that while most teens do not send sexts, it is a very visible problem among teens (13-17 years old) today. Also, sexting is more common among young adults than among teens. Continue reading
Recently this post was republished by the Biblical Counseling Coalition. I originally wrote it for Covenant Eyes. I’d love to get your take on this subject.
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A Conversation Guide for Accountability Partners
One of the tasks of a good friend or accountability partner to someone who is entrenched in pornography is to help them understand their own heart. Why do they run to porn again and again? Solomon reminds us that “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water” (we often can’t see our own motivations) “but a man of understanding will draw it out” (Proverbs 20:5). A wise friend helps to draw out of others the deeper motivations they are unable or unwilling to see in themselves.
As an accountability partner, it is important to understand the allure of pornography: What deeper motivations keep men coming back to it again and again? What are good accountability questions we can ask to get to the root of the problem?
1. Porn is easy, but relationships are hard.
Relationships, especially our closest relationships, involve work. Every day we are required to care what’s going on in others’ lives. We must put up with sour moods, offensive behavior, and selfishness—both in ourselves and in others.
In contrast, porn offers men a feeling of risk-free intimacy. Pornography offers men a fantasy world where they are required to know nobody, require no romance, and no self-sacrifice for the benefit of others. And for many men the payoff is great: not only can they avoid the messiness of real relationships, they can also feel the delight of a million virtual women catering to their every whim.
Good Accountability Question: Has there been a relationship in your life recently that has been unusually difficult? Continue reading
Recently I had the honor of being interviewed on “Grounded,” hosted by Ryan Dobson (Dr. James Dobson’s son). You can listen to it here.
The topic of the program was the sensitive subject of pornography. I spoke pretty candidly about my past struggles and how that experience motivates much of the work I do today at Covenant Eyes.
Over the last four years working for Covenant Eyes, I’ve had the honor of interviewing many individuals on our podcast. I’ve had nearly 100 guests on the program over the years.
Every now and then I walk away from an interview saying, “Wow, that person is truly unforgettable.” These are some of the men and women I’ve had the honor of speaking with.
1) Dr. Albert Mohler
Time.com called Albert Mohler the “reigning intellectual of the evangelical movement in the U.S.” I wholeheartedly agree. I met Dr. Mohler at the Desiring God National Conference at the end of 2010, the same month he appeared on the cover of Christianity Today.
A couple months later I spoke with him about the impact of digital technology and culture on Christians. He had some very insightful things to say. Listen to part 1 and part 2 of this interview. Continue reading
The World Wide Web is the greatest invention since the printing press. Nothing else has so radically shaped culture, media, commerce, entertainment, and communication. But with these benefits come great dangers all parents should know about.
1. Pornography – Warping the minds of youth
Repeatedly viewing pornography, especially from a young age, can radically shape one’s sexual attitudes and beliefs. Frequent exposures to sexually explicit material is closely linked to more permissive attitudes about sex, such as having multiple sexual partners, “one night stands,” cynicism about the need for affection between sexual partners, casual sexual relations with friends, and even mimicking behaviors seen in pornography.